10 Jul 2012

Stop and Take A Breath

So far 2012 has not been a  good year for our family. In fact most days have had me wanting to stay in bed and bury my head under the covers wanting to shut the world out. We have endured three hospital visits, two car accidents and a new job that so far, has not delivered its promises. Don't get me wrong, I know that not everything has been a complete disaster, that we are not the only family to go through tough times, its just that this year began with so much promise, and has left me wondering where do we go from here?

As a mother,the last few months have been particularly hard. Discovering that my eldest son plans on leaving the nest, has me worried, will he be OK without his family close by? Of course I know he will be, its just a natural instinct to worry about our children's well being. I am also struggling with the fact that my youngest child is about to launch into high school, the orientation night is fast approaching and I must admit  that I have shed a tear or two thinking about this. He is my baby and I am not ready for this next step, I want to turn back the clock, keep my babies close and never let go. I know that this is not possible, and its something that I need to deal with, on my own, in my own time.

This morning I woke to the sound of rain on the roof. Laying in bed thinking about what today would bring, the thought crossed my mind that the only person who can turn these sad thoughts into happy ones, the only person who can turn a yuck year into a better one is me. Only I can can change myself and my negative thinking. After all, things are never as bad as they seem. Are they?

I decided that today, I am going to start to change my life around. I am going to stop worrying about what lies ahead and live for now. I am going to face the next stage of my life with courage and open eyes, after all even though my family is growing, even they they will move on, I will forever be their mother and they will always need me, just in a different way. I am going to stop and take a breath, take some time out for me, and slowly discover the whole new world that lies before me.

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