23 Aug 2016


Last week I got to see "Bad Moms Mums". I laughed, I cried in parts, and I laughed so hard I cried. I may have even peed a little. Its so much fun being a mum, isn't it. 
If you haven't had the chance to see this film yet, run don't walk. I am calling it. Its the BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR.

Parenting is challenging. With many good and bad moments to be had. I have had my share of both, but think that I lean more towards the bad mum more than the good.

It's confession time....

I am the mum of four sons. four happy, healthy grown sons. They are the key words that I want you to remember. My sons are happy and healthy.

Back when my third son was born, We lived in a small Queensland mining town where everybody knew everybody and everyone's business. We lived in another state to all our family, so parenting although was rewarding, was very tiring because we never got a break. They were happy times with many wonderful memories created, but there were also a few memories that I wish I could erase as well. And in one instance, I had my very own film worthy "Bad Mum" moment.

Back then when picking up my eldest son from school, all the smaller children would gather at the playground playing games together until the bell rang when they would all return to their mothers who were busy gossiping by the water fountains. On one particular day, I gathered my boys quickly into the car as it was Friday and my eldest boy had the first soccer game of the afternoon and it was always a rush to make it on time. On arriving home and unloading the car of its kids and bags I realised that I had returned home with only two children. I had left my two year old at the school !

I panicked, I was crying with an ugly man face as I piled the two kids back into the car breaking every parenting and road rule to get back to the school as soon as I possibly could. Visions of what could have happened to my little boy were creating havoc with my mind. The car flew into the parking lot at a speed that can only be described as illegal, and there at the gate with a fellow mum who knew that I would return in a fit of distress was my little man happily waving to me with a dirty face and an icy pole. I squished him so hard planting so many kisses on his sweet face vowing never to do it again....

It's confession time....

I did the same thing on two other occasions to the very same child.

So there you have it, my Bad Mum moment/s confessed to all. Not everyone will have a bad mum moment as bad as this, and some of you may even be able to beat it. The point is we all have them. We all have a moment or two to be ashamed of, but let me tell you, when you get to where I am now and your kids have grown up and reached an age where you know they are happy, and so far safe and sound, the Bad Mum moments will become memories that you will be able to look back on with a smile on your face and think....

Did I really do that ?

What are some of your Bad Mum moments ?
Are they as bad as mine ?

beck xx

Linking up with Kirsty for the final I must confess 

22 Aug 2016


I asked my kids to gather for a family dinner last Monday night. I just really needed to be surrounded by my family after having such a sad week. Sometimes as a mother you just have a yearning to gather your chicks and keep them close. This was one of those times.

I never ask much of my kids, they are pretty darn lucky if truth be told, but when I do ask, I expect them to grant me with their presence and a smile wouldn't hurt either.
When I asked my tribe to commit to a family dinner they all agree. I know right ! My eldest two who no longer live at home were happy to come over for a free feed for a family dinner and by all accounts the youngest two were willing to play along as well.

It didn't go to plan. I should have realised that gathering the teens is no longer as easy as it used to be.

I get it, I really do. I was a teenager once way back when, even if my kids don't quite believe me.
When your a teenager, family time can be a drag especially when you would rather be off doing something "cool" with your friends. But sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and give family night a go.

Things started off great, there was laughter and all the kids were getting on well. It was music to my ears and just what I needed. Dinner was almost ready when things went down hill.
A car load or two turned up for teen three and he left, he didn't get that he was bailing out on me, he could only see the fun that he would having with his mates, much more fun then hanging with the family. I regret now that I didn't make him stay but at the time, after such a crap week an argument with one of my kids was not going to happen. So I let it slide. This gave teen four all the power he needed to eat in his room away from the rest of us.
I just didn't have the energy to fight. I backed down and gave away all my power, and became the parent I never wanted to be. I let my kids get away with walking all over me and it didn't feel great at all. I am so not proud of my parenting lately.

Surely it is not too much to ask for a family gathering other than at birthdays and Christmas. Surely I haven't raised full on selfish humans that no longer want to spend time with family. It hurt, and I cried later that night, I felt like a failure as a parent.

Parents get the raw end of the deal sometimes. Kids don't seem to get that parents still need them, still need to spend time with them. Even though they have grown, matured and become their own person. They are still their parents children and occasionally it is nice to spend time together as a whole.

beck xx

3 Aug 2016


It doesn't matter who you are, there is always something in life that makes us envious. You know that old saying "the grass is always greener" its true, there is always something no matter how small, that we all wish was ours. For example wanting to be as thin someone or wanting curly hair instead of straight....
You get the drift.

For me, it's my home. I love my home but it doesn't really live up to the dream that I have always had. If only it was bigger, more open, more stylish. If only the kitchen was white, if the bathroom was finished, if the dogs hadn't tore up the back yard.
If only....
There are so many spectacular homes on Instagram and Pinterest that bring out my inner green eyed monster. I mean I am not naive, I know that people only show the "perfect" parts of their home I do that as well and that behind the scene is a messy kitchen or a lounge room floor of unfolded washing, but it gets me. Every single time.

I mean just look at these images.

Image source unknown

Utter perfection, beautiful rooms that are just not mine. Sigh maybe one day the renovations will be finished, the walls will be painted and my garden will consist of more than dirt patches and wild dogs. Until then I will keep dreaming of my perfect home and keep pinning those rooms that make me ever so jealous.

beck xx

1 Aug 2016

TAKING STOCK - July 2016

I really do love PIP's  idea of Taking Stock. I enjoy looking back at the month that was, the things that made it special, the new memories we have collected. I also love to read other Taking Stock blog posts to sneak a peak into moments of other people's day to day lives. It's a great way to connect with others in this big wide world.

July has been a long month, Tradesmen in and out of our house, making mess, giving me a headache. A birthday to celebrate and many new books read. I am actually looking forward to August, a fresh month, a fresh start, and more memories to be made.

Here was my July...

Making - School lunches again. Three weeks into term three and I am SO over it.
Cooking - Lots of warming comforting food in the hope that we can at least pretend its cold outside.
Drinking - Lots of Chai Tea. It has become my latest addiction.

Wanting - Winter to show its face here in North QLD . With the lack of cold weather this year, it is almost certain that we will be in for a stinking hot long Summer.
Looking - At and crushing on all the beautiful rooms on Instagram decorated in different shades of white. How on earth do they keep them clean ?
Playing - Old reruns of Rosanne. I think its funnier now that I have my own dysfunctional family.
Deciding - On paint colours for the house and getting absolutely nowhere.
Wishing - That we lived somewhere where Winter exited.
Enjoying - Walking again, its been great to start some form of exercise again.
Waiting - On news about the place my son works at. Praying it stays open and no one looses their job.
Wondering - If my kitchen will ever be finished.
Loving - Fresh sheets, hot bubble baths and red wine.

Pondering - Where our money is being spent lately and thinking we need a new budget.
Considering - Taking this horrid body back to yoga but not sure I could face the shame.
Celebrating - My sons 23rd birthday, and wondering where his childhood days went.

Buying - Another $200 calculator after my son has lost his already.
Watching - Housewives of New York and The OC, There Goes The Motherhood and The Kettering Incident.
Cringing - At the obsession of Pokemon Go.
Needing - Another cup of Chai.
Questioning - The meaning of life and my place in it.
Smelling - The fresh salt air of the ocean and freshly cut grass.
Wearing - Summer dresses in Winter and PJ's on the school morning school run.

Following - A lot of home decorating blogs and instagram accounts so that I can gather ideas for my own place.
Noticing - That my youngest son is now taller than me and one of his elder brothers. Not only am I the only female in the house, but I am now also the shortest member of my family.
Admiring - The discipline of fit and healthy women. Knowing that before I hit an all time low I was just like them and the struggle to get back is very real.
Sorting - Through this crazy head of mine and trying to let go of things that I cant physically change and trying to concentrate on the things that I can.
Getting - Frustrated at my everyday routine.
Coveting - A bottle of the finest perfume.
Disliking - All the mess that the tradesmen left us in when they fixed our kitchen. Leaking sinks, a dishwasher hooked up incorrectly and an unfinished floor.

Feeling - Very lonely. Hubby is gone a lot for work these days and all my boys are busy with there own "social lives" being a mum left behind is not all that great. Why did my boys grow up so fast ?
Snaking - On biscuits and feeling very guilty about it.
Helping - My parents out by looking after their home while they are away.
Hearing - Birds singing of a morning and loving their sweet song. Hearing crickets in the evening and them driving me crazy.
Reading - Quite a few new books this month. Don't You Cry by Mary Kubica. The One Who Got Away by Caroline Overington and The Accident by C.L.Taylor. I have just started reading the long awaited new book by Liane Moriaty, Truly Madly Guilty and I am just loving it.

So there you have it. July all wrapped up. A month that had its ups and downs leaving me very much looking forward to August and all that it will bring.

beck xx


Well hello there.... It’s been a while between blog posts, I needed time to gather my thoughts and to heal, both inside and out. Most of...