19 Feb 2015

I'M....


I'm....
Having the worst day. I knew from the moment I woke up this morning that it would be easier to stay in bed and let the day pass me by. I'm tired, feeling the need to shut myself off and tune out like many times before. I know that this is not the answer, but right now it feels as though it is my only option.

I'm sinking....
Feeling as though water is slowly filling my lungs pulling me down into the dark depths of life. I've been here before a few times, and I'm trying not to return, really I am but its so hard. I'm swimming frantically, trying to keep my head above water but I feel as though I am yet again loosing the battle.

I'm....
Finding it very hard to let the little things slide, taking to heart things I should brush off and take less notice of. I'm letting the nitty gritty get at me.

I'm....
Also struggling at the moment with how fleeting life can really be. Here one minute, gone the next. You know, the heavy stuff. The stuff that you push to the back of your mind until something happens to someone you know and love and then wham, it hits you full force, making you realise that not everyone is immune. Bad things DO happen to good people.

I'm....
Very sorry to all my beautiful readers/family/friends for this awful post. I will be back, bright as a button I'm sure but I think I needed to get this off my chest.

Shine bright my friends.

beck xx




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