The world felt heavy on my shoulders, and although I have not physically been alone, this did not stop me from feeling very isolated and lonely. I kind of just gave up, spent my time going through the motions of every day life without my usual enjoyment.
I lost my love of twitter which is usually my "escape from the madness" and even though I logged on to keep up with my awesome twitter buddies, I couldn't bring myself to join in on the conversations.
My blog, well it kind of fell by the way side. I had no motivation to write, and to be honest I didn't even have the will to turn my computer on.
It's rather silly really, I am after all an adult and these feelings are quite childish.
But all in all, I think that I needed this break to strip back my feelings, clear my head and get myself back on track. To find out what it is that I truly am meant to be doing.
Without the distractions of technology, I was able to get back to the basics of living, and begin to enjoy the little things that life has to offer. Things that I have neglected to stop and enjoy in recent times.
I have spent hours in the glorious Autumn sunshine watching the clouds drift by while sorting through the thoughts in my head. I fell in love all over again with my garden, spending countless hours pottering away with my chooks by my side. They are most seriously my best friends :) They listen to my ramblings like you wouldn't believe
I have also started to get my craft stuff out of storage and begin to make a few small crafty things for my home, which in the next few days will start getting the tail end of the renovations done :)
Things feel as though they are slowly starting to fall into place, I am starting to feel like my old self again. It's time I stop beating myself up and feeling as though I am letting people down if I cant be everywhere that they expect me to be, or if I cant get that blog post written.
It's OK for me to stand up and say NO if that is what I choose. And it's OK for me to step off this roller coaster ride that is life, to stop and enjoy the little things. To take time out for myself, and time to relax with my family and enjoy just being. It's time I realised that I shouldn't be worrying ll the time what or if I should be doing something else instead.
I guess we are all guilty in loosing ourselves to the everyday "norm" whatever that is. And only we can decide for ourselves when it is time to take a step back and revisit what it is we want out of life.
For me, right now I need to concentrate on the simple pleasures and stop putting unnecessary pressure on myself and just breathe.