I don't know what I expected to happen last September when I turned forty, I mean it's all a crock
Forty is the "new" thirty. You will "find" yourself when you reach forty.
Blah blah blah !
Frankly I feel no different at forty then I did at twenty or thirty, although my body betrays these feelings in a big way. And as far as finding myself, I must truly be lost because I have been searching and searching for "myself" and yet their are still wanted posters tattered and torn on every telegraph pole.
So now that I am this miraculous age, wasn't I meant to have it all figured out by now ?
Surely there is something wonderful looming in front of me, isn't there ?
What does come next ?
I have been trying to figure this out, what the next chapter will bring. But I keep coming up empty handed. Surely there is more to come, some wow, some excitement, a big BANG !
But what ?
Life is far from perfect, reminders of time passing do not make me happy, I am far from ready to put my feet up and watch the world pass by without participating, and now that I am here, on the "other side" I can see that there are many more years ahead to make memories and still a lot of time left for the big BANG to happen.
So while I am waiting for my next adventure, forty is being content that my children still need me, that I am lucky to be walking hand in hand along life's path with the love of my life, that even though I am busy with barely time to stop and breathe I am happy, and frankly even though I am waiting for something exciting to happen, I am perfectly content to continue plodding along just as I am.
So this is forty, continuing on as I am, being a wife, a mother, a home maker. I still haven't found "me" my wanted posters are still hanging, torn, tattered and mostly unread, but I am here, I am waiting and I am ready for the now what.