GOODBYE SUMMER

Goodbye Summer.....

Its that time of year again, the change of season. Cooler mornings, and the changing colour of leaves. Ahhh I can see it now. Can almost taste it.
However where we live, it doesn't really happen that way. We seem to only get two seasons. Summer and Spring, with a few rare cold days to separate the two.

I can't deny that we live in a beautiful part of the world. For those who don't know, my family and I live on the edge of the beautiful Whitsunday Coast of Queensland. Fifteen years on and I'm still pinching myself. Fifteen years on and I have to admit that I am beginning to miss the cooler weather of Autumn and the beauty it brings to the world. I want to wear jackets and kick the fallen leaves and enjoy hot chocolate without dying of heat exhaustion, from a drink no less. I think I am almost ready for a change.

I struggled this Summer. Boy did I struggle. For the first time ever, I found it hard to cope with the extreme humidity that has swept over our part of the world. Normally summer is my season through and through. And I rock it like no body's business. After all the Queensland climate is absolute perfection. Beautiful one day, perfect the next. Or so its said anyway. Except for this year!

This year it has been even longer then usual, its been extremely hot and humid, and the wet season seems to have given us a miss this year. Did I say it's been long ?
The grass is dead, and my beautiful flower garden is looking bare and broken. I miss my flowers. I miss the beauty.

I know that we wont be changing locations any time soon, so for now I will just have to make do. So as we bid farewell to another summer, I hope that those of you who live in another climate share many pictures with me so that I can dream a little dream of someday.

beck xx

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

As mothers we have all said and done things that we swore we would never do. Things that make us cringe, make us shake our heads and ask why, and things that remind us of our mothers EEK !

I never set out deliberately (like many of you I'm sure)  to be a 'mini me' of my mother. I was going to be different, I was going to raise my kids my way. I was determined to be me and not exactly like her.

I tried hard, really I did, but parenting and mum vocabulary is something learned. And who was my closest role model ?
My mother.

I constantly catch myself speaking to my kids just the way my mum use to speak to me, and no matter how hard I have tried over the years, those "mum sayings" just keep flying from my mouth. I have quite a few of those sayings on high rotation. A cliche repertoire that I swore I would never say, but have murmured a million times over.

***

"I would never have gotten away with that at your age" besides the fact that I can barely remember being their age (slight exaggeration there) it is probably true to form. I didn't get away with much.

"Your all good, there is nothing wrong with you" this one comes out of my mouth quite regularly. I am often tell the boys that if there is no blood or broken bones they are all good. #meanmum

"I will take you home" totally a bluff if ever I heard one. Usually I utter these words when I am on route to the grocery store or somewhere important to me.....

"Because I said so" usually spoken when I cant think of anything else intelligent to say.

"All I am to you is a maid" my regular weekend phrase. I go to bed before my teens most Friday and Saturday nights, and no matter how many times I ask them to clean up before they go to bed, I ALWAYS wake up to a pig sty.

"Text me when you get there please" I admit this was not one that my mother said to me. Mobile phones were not around when I was a teen (showing my age there) but the safety of my boys is important to me.

"Is your room clean or mum clean?" I get a whole lot of eye rolling and muuuuum thrown my way when I utter this one. Not mum clean ? then get your butt back in the room and start again.

"Are you going out like that ?" why do teens think it acceptable to leave the house without shoes, their shirt full of holes and pants that have seen better days ?

"I don't care who started it, you finish it" arguing teens are often more of a headache then a crying toddler. Nobody is in the wrong, nobody wants to apologize and frankly I don't care who started it as long as someone finishes it.

"If it were a snake it would have bitten you" this one also applies to the husband. They would rather call for my help then use their hands as well as their eyes to find something.

***

Isn't parenting fun *insert sarcastic laugh here a constant roller coaster that never slows down. 

It's only now that my boys are getting older and I am sounding more like a broken record then ever that I understand why my mother use to loose her patience with me. 

I guess that old saying what goes around comes around has some truth to it after all.....

Linking up with Jess from Essentially Jess for another round of IBOT

beck xx

MONDAY MUNCHIES - Veggie Mince Puffs

VEGGIE MINCE PUFFS
a meal on their own 

I don't know about you, but when the weekend rolls around I am after meals that are quick to throw together and don't require much cleaning up post eating. This week, the Monday Munchies recipe that I am sharing is a big hit our house. Full of veggies and wrapped in pastry, my boys are always happy and full when this is on the menu.

INGREDIENTS

*Beef mince
*1 cup BBQ sauce
*Chopped onion, potato
*Grated carrot and zucchini
*Corn kernels
*Diced tomato
*Frozen puff pastry


Place the diced potato, onion and corn into a dish with about a cup of water. Cook in the microwave on high for eight minutes.

In a large bowel, mix together the mince, sauce and veggies.

Place a big, I mean a BIG spoonful of the mixture onto a sheet of defrosted pastry and wrap up, making sure all the mixture is covered.

Place into a dish lined with baking paper and spray a little oil on top. Bake in oven for forty minutes at 160 degrees and serve with salad.

Enjoy

beck xx

I'M....

I'm....
Having the worst day. I knew from the moment I woke up this morning that it would be easier to stay in bed and let the day pass me by. I'm tired, feeling the need to shut myself off and tune out like many times before. I know that this is not the answer, but right now it feels as though it is my only option.

I'm sinking....
Feeling as though water is slowly filling my lungs pulling me down into the dark depths of life. I've been here before a few times, and I'm trying not to return, really I am but its so hard. I'm swimming frantically, trying to keep my head above water but I feel as though I am yet again loosing the battle.

I'm....
Finding it very hard to let the little things slide, taking to heart things I should brush off and take less notice of. I'm letting the nitty gritty get at me.

I'm....
Also struggling at the moment with how fleeting life can really be. Here one minute, gone the next. You know, the heavy stuff. The stuff that you push to the back of your mind until something happens to someone you know and love and then wham, it hits you full force, making you realise that not everyone is immune. Bad things DO happen to good people.

I'm....
Very sorry to all my beautiful readers/family/friends for this awful post. I will be back, bright as a button I'm sure but I think I needed to get this off my chest.

Shine bright my friends.

beck xx

MONDAY MUNCHIES Baked Sticky Plum Pork Chops

BAKED STICKY PLUM PORK CHOPS

Monday rolls around so quickly, and so does another week of meal planning. Finding things to please everyone can be a difficult task, especially when feeding a hungry hoard of boys.
This week I want to share with you a recipe that fills those tummy holes and is a family favourite of ours.

INGREDIENTS

*Pork chops
*2/3 cup plum sauce (in jar)
*4 tsp sweet chilli sauce
*2 tbs soy sauce
*4 tbs honey
*1 tsp crushed garlic
*1 tsp crushed ginger

Place pork chops into a large baking dish lined with baking paper.
Combine all other ingredients in a jug and stir well.

Pour the marinade over the pork chops, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, turning the chops to coat.
When ready to bake, place into a preheated oven of 180 degrees and bake till  cooked through and tender.

This recipe is delicious at any time of year but especially good on those cooler Winter evenings.

Enjoy

beck xx

THE WEEK THAT WAS

It's been 'one of those weeks' when getting out of bed has been a challenge, copious amounts of both coffee and wine have been consumed. And sleep a distant memory. Every day the school run has been done in my PJ's and my hair hasn't seen a hairbrush until at least 10 O'clock.....

But hey we made it to Friday in one piece barely so maybe I did kinda, sorta have my shit together.

In gloriously fantastic news. MY BOY GOT A JOB after being out of work since October last year, and having to move back home, the news was music to our ears and I am beyond excited for him. His demeanour changed within hours of knowing he was a working man again.
My boy is back to his usual happy go lucky self again.

In other news, my fur baby is settling in well. Cheeky and full of life, it can be hard to get a great photo of her, but I will continue to try.

This week I've been concentrating on trying to find a way to forgive and move on from someone that continues to hurt me. It's a challenge, and one that is going to take a very long time. But I need peace in my life, and I'm determined to find a way to achieve it.

So 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' has hit cinemas. I read the books to see what the hype was all about, I wasn't overly impressed. So no, I won't be going to see the movie, I'm not saying that I won't watch it, I'm just happy to wait until it makes its way to Foxtel.

It's Valentines Day tomorrow, the day many will declare their love and spend copious amounts of money showering their loved ones in gifts.
Me, I'm just hoping for a quiet dinner (no teens in sight) and conversation, if we can find something to talk about that isn't work or teen related.

I watched Goggle Box, did you ? I laughed so hard, I know that I am going to enjoy this program. There were noticeably some people filmed that were "hamming it up" for the cameras and some that I didn't enjoy watching, but all in all I found it a very light and entertaining program. I will be tuning in again to follow the madness that is Goggle Box.


Happy Valentines day everyone, I hope you all have a glorious weekend filled with awesomeness

beck xx

Linking up with the lovely Grace of  With Some Grace for FYBF :)

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE WHEN IT SEEMS SO IMPOSSIBLE

Taking the first step in anything can be difficult at the best of times, just once it would be nice if the shoe was on the other foot.

Being hurt so many times over can cut us to the very core of our being and make us want to walk away, never to experience that kind of pain again. But when that continuous hurt comes from someone who is meant to love you unconditionally, the pain never leaves, it never fades, even when you think you have walked away for the last time, the pain reoccurs when you least expect it.

For years now I have carried a lot of anger toward someone in my life. Someone that should have been there to protect me, someone I should be able to trust with my whole being, someone who's approval I have tried to over and over gain. I am convinced that the person who chooses to hurt me, does so to gain praise from someone else in their life. I believe they think no matter how many times I am pushed to my limits, I will forgive and move on.

But I cant, I hold a deep harrowing grudge that has clasped itself around my heart, I'm so deeply hurt that I don't know how to move on anymore, or if I will be able to ever find a peaceful solution before it is too late.....

 I know that I need to learn how to forgive, not for their benefit, but for my own peace of mind.
But how do you learn to forgive when it seems so impossible ?
How do you try and move on from all the hurt so that you can lead a life without regret ?
I really don't know.

Usually forgiveness comes easily as time passes, and you can let bygones be bygones, but this time it has gone way past this point. I struggle daily with the knowledge that I may never have a peaceful relationship with this person ever again.
I feel guilty even though I know I have done all that I can to mend this relationship.

I'm done with being the one that continuously reaches out, done with the feeling of not being good enough. And if that makes me sound callous and mean, so be it.

How this person treats me is wrong, it's hurtful and to be honest I don't know how much more I can take.

I have reached out for the last time. I don't need the pain and negativity in my life any longer. My family deserves ALL of me and my attention and of course my love. What this person has done to me over and over again I could never do to my children. They are my whole life, my heart aches with so much love for them that at times I think it could burst, and that is exactly the way it should be.

They say a little girls hero is her Daddy, but he will never be mine......



Linking up with the gorgeous Jess of Essentially Jess for this weeks IBOT

beck xx

MONDAY MUNCHIES Melt In Your Mouth Berry Cake

MELT IN YOUR MOUTH BERRY CAKE

I love berries, and this cake never disappoints. Simple and delicious, this blueberry cake is moist and easy to whip up for unexpected guests or for the lunch box. Very versatile, I have also used fresh raspberries and blackberries to change up the flavours.

INGREDIENTS

*1/2 cup soft butter
*1/2 cup sugar
*1/4 tsp salt
*1 tsp vanilla extract
*2 egg yolks
*1 1/2 cups plain flour
*1 tsp baking powder
*1/3 cup milk
*2 egg white
*1/4 cup sugar
*2 cups berries (of your choice)

Preheat oven to 150 degrees> Grease and flour a loaf pan.
Cream butter and sugar until fluffy, adding salt, vanilla and egg yolks. Beat until creamy.
Combine flour and baking powder and add alternately with the milk to the egg yolk mixture. Lightly coat berries in flour and add to the mix.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites until soft peaks form. Add 1/4 cup of sugar, 1 tbsp at a time and continue beating until stiff peaks form.
Fold the egg white mix softly into the batter. Pour into prepared tin and bake for 50 minutes or until cooked through and golden.

This cake is light, fluffy and moreish, and a huge lunchbox hit and a favourite for afternoon tea, my boys devour it.

Hope you enjoy

beck xx

PUFFY EYES AND PJ'S

I've been feeling like absolute crap for the past few days. I thought it was just all the stress of the past few months catching up with me but it seems that I'm coming down with something as well. Sore throat and ears, the start of a temp and scratchy, puffy eyes. If only I could stay in bed wrapped in my favourite pj's. Maybe I will get a Nana nap later this afternoon.

My son has moved home. Our family of six is back under one roof. I cant deny I missed him like crazy, but the circumstances of his return home were certainly not ideal. Loosing a job knocks your confidence at any age, but he is strong, I have complete faith in him and whoever is the next person to hire him will not regret their decision.

We welcomed a new family member this week. A sweet fluffy little girl that has stolen our hearts.

Penelope Garcia (yep I am a die hard Criminal Minds fan) isn't she sweet.

The rain has arrived ! Hooray......
Its been a really dry Summer here in North QLD, so much for us getting a record wet season. I so hope that it sticks around for a while my plants are mighty thirsty.


The school routine is starting to take shape, doesn't seem to matter how old the boys get, getting back into a routine after school break does not get any easier. So far though I have had a win with homework.....wonder how long that will last ?

beck xx

MONDAY MUNCHIES Savoury Muffin Bites

SAVOURY MUFFIN BITES

Its back to school for thousands of kids and the sanity of parents all around the Country is being restored.
However with the return to school, the dreaded lunch box rears its ugly head and brains are turn to mush wondering what to fill these boxes with.

Today I am sharing a very easy, scrumptious recipe that is a hit every time I bake them. With a few basic pantry ingredients, and your imagination, these tasty bites can be changed up every time you bake them.

INGREDIENTS

*1 cup of S.R. flour
*1 cup of grated cheese
*1 cup of milk

Add diced ham, bacon, chives, onion or any savoury filling you like.

Mix all the ingredients together and bake in a moderate oven until golden and cooked through.
These muffins can be stored in the fridge in an air tight container for about a week (if they last that long in your home) or are able to be frozen.

beck xx