25 Oct 2012

My "Imperfect Children" Are "Perfect" To Me !!!

I must have been living under a rock for a long time, either that, or I am just plain ignorant. For years I thought that the "perfect child" was a myth. I was mistaken, and today this was pointed out to me !

Apparently, I was lucky enough to meet a "perfect child" today, and frankly I was disappointed.
There was no halo, or angel wings, no ethereal glow. The smiles and laughter was absent, and the childlike chatter of a child was missing, all that remained was just a small child sitting quietly between adults seemingly very sad and very lonely.

I was at my "imperfect" child's award ceremony, where as usual, the younger siblings of the school age children were playing games and laughing at the back of the hall, just generally having fun together, and in no way were they disturbing any of the assembly goings on. They were just kids being kids.

Sitting up the back, and to my right was a little girl sitting stiller then I, intently watching the other kids play with a longing look upon her gorgeous little face, she did not ask to play, she hardly moved, but her eyes were glued to those playing ! At one time, I caught the little girls eye and gave her a wink and a smile, I felt for her, knowing she would love to be mixing with the other kids, having fun, being involved, and making friends.
Her mother saw me caught me and said rather confidently,
"Isn't she just the perfect child, sitting there quietly ?"

Perfect child ? Is there such a thing ?

Me being me....
I think I shot myself in the foot again with my reply, said "I'm not perfect and neither are my children, so I wouldn't know what the perfect child looks like"
Whoops !! I think I upset that mother, it really wasn't my intention, please believe me ! I really do have foot in mouth syndrome sometimes I guess I made a mistake......
I got glared at...If looks could kill.

To me, this was not the picture of a perfect child. This was the sign of a little girl not allowed to live, to be free, to have fun, to be a child. Yes, there are times when children need to behave and all children should be bought up to have manners and to be considerate to others, but some times kids just need to be kids.
Don't get me wrong, I am hard on my kids where manners and behaviour are concerned, I like my children to present themselves well, to be polite and respectful, but I also know that there is a time and a place to let them go and enjoy themselves, to be apart of the laughter and fun surrounding them. The giggles and smiles from children (especially my own) make my heart burst with happiness, and no child should experience the feeling of being left out, for whatever reason.

What is this mother doing to this child ?
She has been on my mind all day.

I may be being harsh, and I apologize if I seem to be. After all I do not really know this mother, but to announce so proudly that your child is "perfect" is kinda off putting. I have never before met a perfect child (or adult for that matter) and if a "perfect child" is what this mother wants and has set out to create, then congratulations to her, in her eyes she has succeeded.

Me however, I am glad for my "imperfect children" they make me laugh, they make me cry. They know how to have fun and they know when to behave (well mostly) I wouldn't trade my "imperfect" kids for "perfect" kids, because to me they are "perfect" just the way they are, mischief making and all.....

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