I Wish...

I know that everything happens for a reason,

but sometimes I wish I knew 

what that reason was

I wish... that I had a magic wand so I could go back to that first moment when I first found out about you.

I wish... that I could bottle that time and happiness, so I could hold on to that memory forever.

I wish... that just for a moment I had the chance to hold you in my arms. 

I wish... that I had kept you safe, done things differently. Then maybe you would still be with me.

I wish... that I could have jumped on your bed this morning and wished you a happy birthday, that I was baking your favorite cake, blowing up balloons and watching your face as you opened up your presents that were chosen with such love.

But this will not be happening today for you did not even make it into this world. I have cried a river of tears for what was not meant to be, and even though I never had the chance to hold you, to kiss you and take care of you, I have never loved you any less. Till the day that I die, in my heart I will have always been the mother to five precious children, all who mean the world to me and have made my life so extraordinarily happy.

So to you my angel baby, where ever you may be. Happy 18th birthday and may one day we meet and have that cuddle that so many years ago was denied us..........

Linking up with the gorgeous Jess for this weeks IBOT 

Happy Tuesday xxx