I struggled last week. Struggled to enjoy and be engaged with life. Most mornings I would rather have stayed huddled under the bed covers catching up on the sleep that seems to be evading me of late and shutting the curtains on the day to day shenanigans that sum up my world. My body felt heavy, tired, and nonfunctional.
Loneliness and boredom is a big factor for how I was feeling. Lately I've noticed myself pulling back, closing myself off. I begun to feel completely detached, unable to fully function. I need something to fill the hole that is starting to open up in my life.
I decided to take time over the weekend to really think about what I wanted to do to shake off these negative feelings. As it turns out, having a house full of "artistic" teenage boys
I really need, want, would love to pick up a paint brush again, to return to what I truly feel inspired by. Its been way too long since I held a paint brush, way too long since I was covered in paint, way too long since I created something that was truly my own.
A while a go I purchased new paints and brushes, I brought them home full of happiness only for them to sit on a table for a week or so and then be placed into a box and out of sight. I think its time to bring them out again.
I miss being creative, and now that my boys are grown and no longer need me as much as I wished they did, it is time to jump head first into something that will help fill those empty hours.
I have been scouring Pinterest looking at all the beautiful art studios and creative spaces that people have to bring out their inner artist. There sure are some beautiful rooms out there, and since I now have a spare room, I am going to create a space of my very own and I cant wait to get started.
Linking up for IBOT with Essentially Jess
beck xx
Sometimes it can be hard to get motivated again but I know that once you do start, you'll be so happy - so get going!
ReplyDeleteThank you Emily. xx
DeleteOh good for you. You're me in about 10 years - I've got 2 boys, 3&5. Except I can't paint to save myself!
ReplyDeleteYour boys are at a great age. I miss those times. Here's hoping I can remember how to paint after all these years lol xx
DeleteBeck
ReplyDeleteIt can be so hard to find your mojo when you are needed less for the practical needs for the children and more for the emotional needs. My three are a son 15 this yr and my twins turn 11 in just over a mth.
They still need me in a very different way. I have always been somebody's daughter, sister, fiancee, wife, mother and in amongst all of that I lost who I was.
I am recovering from a fairly dramatic breakdown last year and part of that process is finding me and who I want to be in all of this madness. I still very much am somebody's daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend and that is important but I also need to be me!
I hope you find you in all of this.
Cat xoxo
I'm glad you've found something to help you with the funk. It must be hard to have all your kids grow up. I don't look forward to it. :(
ReplyDeleteThat sounds absolutely perfect, Beck. Enjoy. I hope it brings your mojo back x
ReplyDeleteMe to Renee. Wishing you and your family a happy Easter xx
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