1 Apr 2014

So, Here We Are

No matter where you may roam
or how much distance is between us,
you will always have a part of my heart.
We have walked life's journey 
 hand in hand for the past twenty years
and now its time for you to go out and explore on your own.
Good luck on your new adventure my boy
Know that I love you 
and that I will always be here

When you were born almost 21 years ago, my life changed in so many ways, and there were a lot of lessons to be learned. The most important lesson, the true meaning of unconditional love.  I have wanted to hold you close and protect you from the moment you were born, and to this day that has not changed.

I have so many memories imprinted on my heart and on my mind. Happy memories that makes my heart ache with love.

I am bursting with pride with all that you have accomplished, and the future that lies before you. You have a world full of possibilities, grasp each one with both hands and explore. The world is your oyster.

So, here we are. 
Its been a week since you left the nest. A long week. You have spent the week in transition, leaving the comfort of your well known home and discovering a new and foreign atmosphere. A culture shock to the system you might say.

Me, I have at times wondered around the house aimlessly, standing in your empty bedroom wondering where the years have gone, why I had to let you go. 

Snip snip snip, I can feel the cord being cut every time your name is mentioned. I miss you.

A couple of times now when preparing to serve dinner, I have set six places. I act as though its funny when your Dad or brothers comment, but deep inside I feel silly and a little empty. This will pass, I know. But for now its hard. 
You have depended on me for everything up until now, and I am finding it difficult to imagine that from now on you will lean on me less and less. 

How do you prepare yourself for the time when your children start to move on ? 
I have no answers to this question. It is something that I had never even considered, and now that it has begun I am frightened that the years will pass all to quickly and all my chicks will be gone. That my purpose in life will end and I will have nothing left to throw myself into. My children have been my whole world, I am afraid I will be lost with out them.

So as you start to find your way around your new life, I will try to soldier on without you by my side, I will jump for joy when you phone me, and enjoy every visit that we have. My eyes will eventually stop filling up when someone mentions your name and I will eventually come to terms with the fact that although you have moved on and out of your childhood home, I will forever be your mum and you my son. Our hearts locked forever in time.

Linking up for another IBOT with the wonderful Jess


  1. Oh Beck - I can only being to imagine how you are feeling - but, having said that, we found out last night that K has been accepted into the USA Au Pair program so, when she is finished her diploma, she may very well be moving to the USA. Good excuse to go there for a holiday but I will miss her dreadfully at home.
    Sending heaps of big hugs and positive energy !

  2. I remember when my mum was complaining to a friend of hers about how all her children had flown the nest and this other woman told her to stop complaining and take pride in the fact she had raised them well enough to do so. Sending lots of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses your way lovely

  3. Oh my goodness Beck I have a wee tear in my eye, that is just so precious. You know I went to boarding school at 12, then private boarded for last year of high school and then uni so I have never spent a full year at home since I was 12, can you believe it? BUT I know and hope that my children will - so I can have all the experiences that you have had. Hang in there, time will help and maybe find something to fill the void, a new favourite show? Em - also visiting as part of #teamIBOT

  4. I don't even want to think about that day, but I suppose it will come soon enough.
    You've done him proud though Beck, and now he will do your proud. xxx



Well hello there.... It’s been a while between blog posts, I needed time to gather my thoughts and to heal, both inside and out. Most of...