23 May 2017


Young adults are no longer children, but "adults in training" that are living at home and still under the "guidance" of their parents or guardians. It can be a difficult process nutting out and enforcing rules that are grown up enough to keep the "kids" happy but strict enough to give the parents peace of mind. and to keep the household running smoothly.

We are currently in the process of some major family changes which have us treading carefully in some areas to keep the peace but still ensure that expectations are being met by everyone.

Currently I am  in the thick of what I believe to be the hardest stage of parenting yet. I wont tell you that having four boys under the age of six was easy because it wasn't. Nor am I going to tell you that I breezed through the terrible twos and teen years without incident because that would be telling a lie. But what I will tell you, is that every stage of parenting I have experienced to date has been a heck of a lot easier than dealing with four young adult men that are all head strong, independent and are all currently finding their feet in this crazy adult world.

Our two youngest boys are at that "I know everything" stage. At the ages of seventeen and nineteen they can be absolute nightmares delights. Attitudes are soaring at these ages and it is easy to butt heads.
My eldest two sons have recently moved back home after living on their own for almost two years. A return to the family nest was not exactly what they wanted but was kind of forced upon them because of job losses and all the backlash that comes with being out of work. Naturally they were used to doing as they pleased without the worry of mum and dad sticking their two cents in, but with the return home that all changed.

Usually, I am a micromanaging freak. I like strict routine and order. More often than not, my ducks are in a row to scared to stray. But right now I am having a difficult time setting limits. I am worried that I am being too lenient, or if I am expecting too much from my sons. Its a fine line to be walking and I'm always afraid that I am not treading carefully enough.

Its a hard job this parenting gig, and up until a few years ago I thought that I was passing with flying colours. Now, I am not quite sure that I am meeting all the criteria of a good parent.

Am I ....

Guiding them in the right direction ?
Praising them enough for their efforts ?
Trusting the decisions that they are making ?
Expecting them to live the life that I want them to lead instead of the life they want ?

There is so much on the line when raising young adults. So much uncertainty on both sides. So much pressure to be the perfect parent or child.
While my control over my sons lives is waning, I know that they still need my support and guidance. It is just a matter of finding a balance between taking to much control and letting go completely.

Do you have any advice that can help me with this stage in my parenting journey ?

beck xx

Linking up for this weeks IBOT with Kylie from www.kyliepurtell.com


  1. I'm finding the parenting of "baby adults" can be challenging too. My 2c, for what it's worth....
    We still require all our kids (21, 19, 17) to contribute to cooking meals and doing dishes. When we ask them to do one of those jobs they don't get to say "no" because they think we're being unfair or whatever. If they're not here that's another story.
    We don't have a curfew; we've never needed to put that into place. However, our bedroom is right by the front door, so we do ask the girls that they consider that when they are coming home late. They're pretty good, especially on school nights.
    I choose not to take on things that need to be theirs to take care of. There are many occasions where my response is "hmmm, you have a problem, how are you going to solve it". Because I can't fix all their things and neither should I.

    I think it is totally appropriate to have in place reasonable boundaries that ensure everyone has what they need. Whilst our kids may live with us, our homes ultimately belong to us parents so if my kids want to be doing things that go against my values, beliefs etc I would have no problem putting my foot down. Everything else takes a lot of delicate negotiation!

    1. I agree with everything you have said. Our boys however have had a curfew on school nights.



Well hello there.... It’s been a while between blog posts, I needed time to gather my thoughts and to heal, both inside and out. Most of...