Taking time away from blogging and trying to concentrate on getting myself back to the basics of living, and discarding the negative thoughts and feelings that had been consuming my world was like giving myself a well deserved holiday.
It was tough, but I had to shake myself free of the pressures that I was placing on myself.
While I was on my hiatus, the opportunity came my way to join in a sport that I hadn't played since my High School days. It was an unexpected opportunity. I mean who in their right mind would put themselves in such a position ?
It was crazy, it was impulsive, but without thinking I said yes and was put right in the middle of an adventure.
I fell in love with Squash all over again.
I felt free !
It made me feel as though I was taking back control of my life.
I was regaining my power.
I didn't realise that by doing something so simple, would give me the opportunity to clear the cobwebs that had been forming in my head, and would allow me to breathe deeply and put the negative far from reach.
I am the type of person that allows things to get at me. They pile high in my mind and eventually I fall, and when I do, I fall hard. I become an emotional wreck and the slightest mishap sends me into an uncontrollable spiral. It makes me feel very weak as a person and I find it very hard to recognise myself.
I'm the type of person that needs an outlet that requires me to put all my energy and thought into it, and allows me to put everything else on hold, even if it is only for an hour.
It is amazing how clear things can look after hitting a tiny ball with force......
It was quite liberating :)
I found muscles that have been hiding for years. My family got quite the laugh watching me live like an old Granny for a few days.
But the aches and pains were worth it.
I was smiling again. I have found something that I enjoy doing, something that I never thought I would return to. I have found my new outlet and I am counting down the days until my next set of games.
I am back and I am good.
Its time to once again tackle life head on. To reinvent myself and realise that in the end nothing is ever quite as bad as it seems.
Hiccups happen, and they will continue to do so. They are something that no one can avoid in life but I am slowly learning that it is how we decide to handle them that counts.
What doesn't kill us, can only make us stronger.
Or so they say anyway !
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