21 Sep 2013

My A to Z Of Parenting (and how I have survived so far)

Writing this three part A to Z of parenting list has made me stop and think about my journey as a mum, and what I could have done differently or could do differently in the future. It opens your eyes when you actually stop and think about where you have been and where you are headed along the path that is parenthood.
I am the first to admit that I have made many mistakes, and like many other parents out there I struggle, wondering why on earth I was given such a huge responsibility.
Only time will tell how well I have guided my boys through their youth. I only hope that I have laid a good enough foundation for them to continue to have a happy and successful life whatever path they choose to follow.


S is for survival and sacrifice
These are two major parts of parenting.
We do "survive", I promise. Even though the road is tough and the end seems so far away, we do eventually see a light. Me time for a mother is something that does not happen very often until our children are of an age when we can actually say enough is enough let me be ! I am lucky to have reached this stage in my journey, but to get here has been a long hard slug. There are still times that I can go weeks without an hour to myself. Believe me, my parenting journey is far from over.
There is so much that we "sacrifice" to parent our children, but if you love your kids as much as I do and I know you do it is a sacrifice that we make with love, and I/we wouldn't have it any other way as long as there is large amounts of coffee, chocolate and wine on hand

T is for trust
"Trust" like respect is a two way street in parenting and its something that both parent and child have to earn.

U is for universe
From the first moment that I held my first born in my arms my whole world changed. And with each of my sons births my heart grew. It is a  love so strong, a love that I never knew truly existed until I became a mother. My boys are my entire "universe" and no matter how old they get or how big they grow they are way to big to sit on my lap now they will continue to be the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I make it through each day and the reason why my life is complete.

V is for void
It's funny how lonely a parent can be when their children are away from them. I dread my sons leaving home the first is nearly ready to leave the nest it is going to create a huge "void" in my life and I'm not sure how I am going to cope........

W is for wise
A "wise" women once told me that to be a mother is the greatest gift given to a woman. That woman was right, and that woman was my mother.

X is for X marks the spot
Like the X that marks the spot to buried treasure, an X marks the spot on my heart, showing my boys that my heart is full of love for them no matter what ever happens. Decisions may be made that they regret, a wrong path traveled. But no matter what my love for them is never ending....

Y is for Yawn
Parenthood is one long "yawn" being tired goes hand in hand with the job......I have been told that we eventually do get sleep. If this is true can someone please verify this for me ? : )

Z is for ZOO
I don't know about you but this describes my house to a tee. I'm sure my home is full of animals. Cute, adorable ones but animals all the same. How is it that putting rubbish in the bin, closing the toilet lid and putting dishes into the dishwasher is so hard ? I guess that is something that I will never understand........

So I have finished my list, but not my journey. In fact I don't think that a mothers journey is ever really over. I believe that it continues for our entire life time it just changes direction, but continues never the less.  <3



19 Sep 2013

My A to Z Of Parenting (and how I have survived so far)

Part two of my A to Z list of "my parenting journey" took a little more thought to put together. If you didn't get the chance to read part one, you can find it here
Parenting has at times been difficult, overwhelming and had me at a loss more then once. I have spent countless hours laughing at myself and my unskilled parenting, countless hours crying my eyes out at my parenting failures, and countless hours wishing that at certain times I had done things differently.
But in the end, when all is said and done, my boys have grown into responsible young men that have made me so very proud.

So could I have done a few things right along this journey after all ?


K is for key
The "key" to parenting is lots of patience. Something that I have had to work on since my boys became teens. It's funny how with each step of parenting the rules and regulations seem to change as much as the growth of our children. There are plenty of books out that attempt to show you exactly the right road to travel, and offer all sorts of advice that does help to some extent, but when it comes time to put these words into action I found that trusting my own instincts was far better then to rely on other peoples.

L is for love
Without "love" we can not function. Love is the most vital key between a parent and child. Sometimes I think that I smother my kids with affection, but I cant help myself, ever since the day I first became a mum, my boys have been the center of my world.
Have I embarrassed them ? Heck yeah : ) but that is a mothers right.

M is for marathon
Parenting is like running a marathon that is all up hill, it can make you short of breathe and oh so tired, but the reward is SO worth it in the end.

N is for noisy
Holy heck boys make a lot of "noise" it started of with loud renditions of The Wiggles and Barney The Dinosaur, and has continued with loud Rock and Rap (what are they really "rapping" about ?) and the aggravating noise of the play station.......I really need to get back into meditation and yoga to bring back some peace to my world, however I know that when all my chirping birds fly I will miss them more then words can say (even their noise I'm sure)

O is for open
In our home we encourage our boys to be open with us, we tell them often that we are there for them and that they can come to us with anything....it can be daunting to talk about some things, and they may choose not to, but at least they are aware that we are always there for them and can come to us with anything if they need to. An open relationship between parents and kids is vital.

P is for priority
My boys are my "priority" it saddens me to see kids that are pushed aside, and lack parental guidance. Becoming a parent in my book means that your children and their welfare comes first and everything else is second to that.

Q is for quality
Quality time spent with your kids at any age is important. No matter if its a walk, time spent kicking a ball or going out to dinner as a family, showing unity and laughing together is a way to keep communication open and a family close together.

R is for respect
"Respect" is a two way street in parenting. To gain respect from my boys, I have learnt that I must respect them in the same way. It doesn't mean that I am not in control and don't demand to know things that are going on in their lives, but some things are best discussed in private without an audience, I do not attempt to go through their phones or personal things. I do however expect them to befriend me on face book, twitter and instagram so that I am able to keep a check on their online activities. I am aware that I do not in anyway know everything that goes on in my sons lives, but that is I guess where respect and trust comes into it.

Part three and the final post will be published tomorrow : )







18 Sep 2013

My A To Z Of Parenting (and how I have survived so far)

Raising a family of boys has been a mish mash of trials and tribulations, fun and games, ups and downs and the most wonderful experience of my life. I have truly been blessed in life, honoured to be trusted by God with raising these four wonderful boys.
I have not always had success with my parenting, I am in no way an expert and I have had many failures let me tell you, and even though I now have 20 years of parenting under my belt, each day I continue to learn and discover new ways to parent, and hopefully give my boys the skills to live the happy, fulfilling life that they deserve.

I don't think that you can ever learn enough about parenting, so over the next few days, I have decided to put together an A to Z list of words and explanations of what I have learnt so far while raising my four boys


A is for attitude 
This seems to gradually grow, and before you know it, it has just about OUT grown the child and taken over. It's like the inner monster finds its way out and turns the once innocent  into raving lunatics.
However being a mum to sons only, I have found that over the years I have had to change my attitude and outlook on life to raise these boys to the best of my ability. 

B is for brave     
Raising boys is fun, crazy, full of adventure and the unexpected, so being "brave" is a huge part of raising boys. I admit that being brave {like them} has not always been my strong point, but ending up being the only female in our household has made me have to dig deep for courage at various times in my parenting journey.

C is for charm and caffeine
I have been guilty of letting my boys "charm" take control of my parenting at times over the years. {bad parenting, or the easy way out ?} but sometimes those eyes, they just get ya. To recharge and start again I recommend a good strong cup of coffee, it seems that parenting and caffeine go hand in hand : )

D is for drama
Boys, just like girls can be "drama queens kings" and this is when I tend to loose the plot, after all the drama should be all mine... right ? 
I may or may not have at one time or another said "toughen up princess" bad mumma is me.

E is for earplugs
Ahhhh I am so grateful that the humble "earphone" was invented, me time would not be possible without them. Just to drown out the boys and their noise every now and then is pure heaven.

F is for food
How is it possible to go through so much ? There is always a bum sticking out of my fridge and at times I think that because of this I would be able to recognise my boys bums in a line up more than if  their faces were shown LOL no I am serious....maybe I need shares in Woolworths !

G is for grateful
My family is the one thing that I hold dear to my heart. Without them I am nothing. They are my entire world and the fact that they are mine to love to cherish and keep safe, to guide and watch them grow makes me beyond grateful each and every day of my life.

H is for honesty
Being honest is always best no matter what the situation, and when it comes to children I believe its no different. I have always been honest and forthright with my boys, without putting to much on their shoulders of course. I believe that if I am honest with them then it is possible that they will be honest with me. I am not blind however and realise that this is not always the case. Kids are kids and always will be. But if I am willing to teach them that honesty is the best policy then maybe it is a trait that they will continue to have throughout their lives.

I is for Individual
Each of my boys are "individual" and so I believe that although they ALL must obey and live by the same rules, I have found at times that each of them need to be parented in different ways. Each child understands and absorbs things differently and so on more then one occasion I have had to approach certain situations with a different angle to accommodate the child that I am dealing with at the time.

J is for junk
They collect it, stash it and wont give it up. My house is over run by "boy stuff" its stuffed under their beds and piled high in their wardrobes......Its almost school holidays and time to Spring clean LOOK OUT BOYS : ) I am on the clutter free war path !

To be continued :)


10 Sep 2013

Puppy Daze

Last week I tweeted how much I would love another baby. I miss the early years of my boys who have grown up way to fast and have often wondered why I didn't go back for another.
Exactly one week later, that wish of mine was granted, well kind of. Instead of the sweet smelling ten fingers, ten toes kind of bundle, the furry four legged kind entered our lives which the boys promptly named Shadow.

                                               
He is a ball of cuteness, a bundle of energy, a real fireball and already a well loved member of our family.
But my oh my ..... how quickly I forgot how much work puppies can be. Next time on twitter, I think that I will hold my tongue in the wishes department !


The first night we had Shadow home, the house was crazy. It seems that no matter what age we are, puppies bring out the BIG kid in everyone :)
Shadow was wild, the boys were wild and much laughter filled our house.


The next day however things did not look good :( poor Shadow was sick as a dog {no pun intended} he was lethargic, wobbly on his feet, yelping in pain and vomiting *yuck* a trip to the vet was very much needed.
As it turned out, Shadow was indeed very ill and was put on a drip right away. Poor little guy. He was kept overnight and given plenty of antibiotics and fluids. Thankfully it was nothing serious, just a small puppy tummy bug that required lots of care and attention.
Picking him up the next day, he was full of beans, back to his own crazy self. The boys were so happy to have him home, and I was ever so glad that I was not the bearer of bad news.


He has now settled into life with us quite nicely, turning everything and everyone upside down. Of course as usual most of the work has landed in my lap even though I made it quite clear that the job was to be shared by everyone in our household. Come this weekend when things have calmed down a little, I will be reminding everyone that raising Shadow is a family job and will be participated by all.

Welcome Shadow, may you live a happy and contented life as a member of our crazy, wild family.




                                          Happily linking up with Jess for another week of IBOT






3 Sep 2013

Message In A Bottle

I used to dream that one day I would discover a message in a bottle. The idea that someone, from somewhere in this world could write down their dreams, their most private thoughts or a simple hello, seems like something straight out of a fairy tale.

It is highly unlikely that my dream will come true, that I will ever find a message in a bottle. But each time I walk along the beach, my eyes search the debris always in hope, always with that dream in the back of my mind that maybe one day I will be lucky enough to find someones message.

I have decided to throw caution to the wind and send my own message in a bottle out into the great unknown.
I am being realistic. I know that it may never be found, that it may bob around in the ocean for ever. Never finding an owner, never being read, never finding its place in history. 
But who knows, it may very well be found by someone who just like me had a dream. And instead of me being the one to find a message, it maybe my destiny to fulfill someone else's dream of finding their message in a bottle


Bon voyage

Happily linking up with Jess for another fun week of IBOT 





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