28 Apr 2015


As the sun began to break the dawning of a new day, I pulled the covers to my chin wanting to resist what lay before me. Another long day of the same old thing.
For the second week, Dan is away for work. It seems yet again that this is our reality. Two steps forward, three steps back.

I get lonely.
Motherhood is lonely.
Being a stay at home mum, even though that was my ultimate dream, can be the loneliest job, the hardest job and the most tedious.
To keep the ship running as smoothly as possible, I dare not stray to far from everyday routine.

Sometimes I wonder what the lives of other stay at home mums are like. Are they just like me ?
It hits me harder at night. Scrolling through my social media feeds, I see so many people smiling out at me from places that I can only dream of being. A group of mums lunching, having coffee, their happy commentary below.
I use to have this, a social life with good friends, but as our children grew and we stopped meeting at the school gate, we drifted, went our separate ways. I couldn't tell you the last time we were all together.
I am finding that this time of my life, mothering teens, is the loneliest time that I have ever endured. Yes my home is always full, and I am always catering to the needs my teens and their many house guests, but having a house full of your kids friends and enjoying yourself with friends of your own is a whole other world.
Don't get me wrong, I love welcoming my teens friends over, listening to the laughter and silly banter, I wouldn't change that for the world. But sometimes it reminds me of times gone by and what I don't have right now.

Some days I yearn to have a long conversation with someone other than my children or husband. Someone who is in the same stages of life as me, someone that gets me. But dwelling on the impossible is something that I cant afford.

It will change again, life has cycles. And for now my cycle is to be here, at home, being the best mother and wife that I can be, and there is nothing at all wrong with that.
My time will come, I know adventure awaits me. My life is far from over. I just need to be patient and know that I am loved, wanted and needed right here, as I am right now in this moment.....

Are you a lonely Mum who feels the need for something more out of life to ?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for this weeks IBOT

beck xx


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