11 Feb 2014

Mind Your Manners

Are manners becoming a thing of the past ?

Good basic manners should never go out of style. They are a sign of respect and good old fashion etiquette. Saying please and thank you, and apologizing when you are in the wrong, are something that we should all adhere to.

Teaching teens good manners is an important part of teaching them how to get along in today's society. My opinion is, that teaching our kids manners is not something that we should just leave to our schools. It is our duty as parents, to make sure our children are taught both good manners and good behaviour.

It may seem funny to some, seeing the words 'teens and manners' in the same sentence, but never fear, everyone is capable of having and using good manners, and teens are no exception to the rule. It is a matter of principal and weather or not you want a relationship with your teen that is respectful both ways.

Teaching my sons good manners is something that I started at a very young age, and is something that I still teach remind them of on a daily basis. I think nothing of giving my boys a gentle nudge in the right direction when it comes to the use of manners. I don't care where we are at the time, out in public or in our own home. The lack of manners in my sons is not something that I tolerate.

Teaching teens manners is not rocket science. You can get them to use their manners the same way you would get them to do other things. Be clear with your expectations, be firm and fair. You need to set by example, other wise how do expect your teen to follow your required guidelines ? Rewarding the use of good manners is also as important as pointing out their use of bad ones. Nobody wants to be criticised all the time, we all at one time or another look for encouragement and praise.

Your teen needs to be reminded that they should treat others the same as they wish to be treated !
Teach your kids to be respectful, honest and courteous, no matter whose path they may cross. They will not always get the same respect in return, and this can be deflating and frustrating, but at least they can smile and be proud of themselves for showing respect and the practice of good manners.



A list of basic manners that I require of my teens, and believe should be taught to all are -

* Saying please, thank you and excuse me
* Apologising when in the wrong
* Do not interrupt when someone else is speaking
* Asking permission when they want something 
* Keeping hands to themselves
* Covering their mouths when coughing/nose when sneezing
* Using appropriate table manners -
   Chew with your mouth closed
   No elbows on the table
   Asking to leave the table when finished their meal

I am not naive. I live in the real world and know that my teens do not always mind their manners, they can easily be forgotten in the heat of the moment no matter who we are. 
I know my teens are far from perfect, they are normal, typical teens.....but I am proud to say that I have done my best to instill good manners in my four sons and hope that it is something that they will continue to use throughout their lives.

Do you think that manners are becoming a thing of the past ?
Do you think that manners should be left to the schools to instill in our children ?

I look forward to your feed back.

beck xx

Happily linking up with Jess for another week of IBOT 



6 comments:

  1. Agree about requiring manners, particularly as so many social graces are going out the window. Teens can just be really forgetful though. Younger ones- depends how tired from school/ whatever they are. They remember to use them all day in a group scenario then come home and leave them at the door!

    Can I confess- the elbow one is not one of ours as we are still banging on about using cutlery :/ Besides I find myself breaking that one regularly, when I discover I am holding up my own weary head! #teamIBOT

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  2. Oh this resonated with me so deeply!!! I am a stickler for manners. I am young with an old soul. My grandfather taught me at the age of five proper use of cutlery and appropriate table manners. I can't quite grasp that my 10yo stepson doesn't know how to use his cutlery properly.. I don't understand why my 7yo stepson thinks it's acceptable to chew with his mouth open or get up from the table a gazillion times through dinner.
    And I don't care WHOSE kids they are, if I give them something I expect a thank you and if I don't get one I will remind them to use their manners. My 1yo nephew says "ta" most of the time.
    The only thing my teen is not so great with is owning his mistakes and apologising.
    I totally agree! It is so important and I'm glad we share those values!!!
    Visiting from IBOT

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  3. You know I hate to boast BUT everyone that meets my children tells me that they have great manners, but I am so strict on them. I feel that at least if my darlings are being little shits, at least they are doing it politely! I'm very polite, even if I do say so myself, it's a very endearing trait and I'm proud to say my children are cottoning on to it!! xx

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  4. Yep I'm all for manners!!! It's just a matter of respect!

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  5. I am so with you on this! Good manners cost nothing but can buy you the world. I was brought up to have very good manners and it really gets to me when others don't especially adults. The use of please and thank you are absolutely mandatory in my mind, even when you don't feel like using them. It was astounding the amount of people I came in contact with when working in retail, who lacked even basic manners. Manners are not just for your family friends, manners need to be used for everyone, even if you think they are just some lowly bookshop attendant!

    One thing I really hate is people not having the courtesy to say hello or goodbye to you. We were always taught, especially as teenagers, that if we went to a friends house then it was common courtesy to seek out the owners of the house, ie. the parents, and to say hello and let them know you were there. It was also common courtesy to say goodbye before leaving and thank them for having you, even if you didn't really see them the whole time. I always did this, I would show up to Dave's parents house and the first thing I would do when walking in the door (you just let yourself in there) was to search out his parents and say hello, as well as hello to anyone else who was in the house at the time. It's just good manners but so many people don't do it! I still thank Dave's parents for dinner or for having us when we go round there, even when we have done the cooking for them!

    Bad manners really shit me. Punky is two and has just started to say please when she asks for something, without me prompting her, and it's lovely to hear. I always try to say please and thank you to her whenever I ask her to do something as I can't expect her to do the same if I'm not.

    Argh, sorry for the essay, this is just something that really gets me fired up in case you couldn't tell! Lol!

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  6. Yes, yes, yes! I agree! It's such a shame that people have really let their manner (and teaching of manners) slip :(

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